A PLEA

Stop it. 

He’s not you. You're not him. There’s no way you could ever understand what’s going on in his 

brain. 

Unless you hear the bees that swarm his mind, unless you feel the pulse that clogs his ears, unless you see the heat that clouds his vision, then you can’t say you understand. 

All you can do is hear his plea: 

Please don’t tell him to stay when his fists are clenched.

Don’t tell him to calm down while moisture beads on his forehead. 

Understand that he’s not having a temper tantrum, that he’s not overreacting. 

Don’t say “suck it up”, “you don’t understand anything”. 

Don’t tell him the pain isn’t real, that it’s simply a figment of his imagination.  

Acknowledge that pain is relative, and in your perspective he may not seem to have gone through as much, from his perspective his world is crumbling.

Don’t compare him to someone else. He’s not him. He will never be him. You telling him otherwise creates an empty void, an unwanted label, expectation impossible to fill. 

Please don’t leave him, he needs you to be supportive. 

Don’t tell him that he or his behaviour is unwanted. 

It’s not under his control. 

I’m sure you’ve had bad days, days where it feels as though there is shadow over you that little light can emanate. Understand that he feels that darkness everyday. Some days are darker than others. Days when no light seeps through and all that is felt is this pressure, this need to burst into a sprint, this need to scream. 

Don’t treat him differently. He doesn’t want pity. Please, please just stand by him. Hold his hand, encourage him to scream. Encourage him to express it, write it all down, shout out loud, paint the town red, black, blue, purple, anything. Sometimes, he just needs a shock absorber. -And if you stay there for him, there is no doubt he will be there for you. He will let you scream, he will help you run so fast that your demons become nothing but insignificant spots in your past.

Please, next time you pass judgment on someone, a stranger, a friend, a loved one, take a moment. A moment to think, to hug, to smile. Hold his hand while he climbs. 

Because despite everything, the pieces of him that chip off, the cracks in his very core, he will continue onwards. Eventually the pain will become constant, almost numbing, making it bearable, maybe unnoticeable at times. Know that just because he isn’t making it visible, doesn’t mean it’s not there. It may always be there, and it’s important you are too. 

2016.